Volume 2, Issue 7: Celebrate My Birthday!

Hi friends! My birthday is coming up on April 1st. Yes, my birthday is April Fool’s Day. People have told me that they would hate that but personally, I love it. I love a good, clever, prank that is not mean-spirited or “hyuk-hyuk-I’m-pregnant-hardee-har-har.” I love a long set-up. My parents are hilarious people and there is a small part of me that expects my mom to tell me someday on her death bed that my birthday isn’t actually April 1st and JOKE’S ON ME.

This year I am 42, which is a huge birthday for nerds because 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.

I’m one of those assholes that celebrates the whole month and I would love for you all to celebrate with me! Not in person, of course. There’s still a panasonic going on. I have a range of things I would like to invite you to do to celebrate after the gratuitous mug photo.

Before that, I would like to send you something via snail mail to celebrate my birthday, welcome spring, and get more joy out of the longer days. If you want in, email by replying to this issue or DM me your mailing address and the email address with which you subscribe to this newsletter (free or paid, all subscribers welcome)!

Ways to celebrate my birthday (choose any, a few, or all!) during any day in April:

  1. BAKE SOMETHING: You don’t have to share it! Baking is just something that brings me joy and I think that creating through baking is a great way to celebrate my birthday.

  1. EAT A SWEET: I’m particularly fond of ice cream, donuts, gummy candy, and tiramisu. But use it as an excuse to have something YOU like, maybe something that you don’t have often because it’s complicated or you save it for a special occasion (hint, hint). If you don’t eat sweets, then eat something else you enjoy (cheese, maybe?)

  1. READ A BOOK: It could be any of the books in my Bookshop or a book of your choosing. Read something you enjoy. Not work reading, not school reading.

  1. WRITE SOME SNAIL MAIL: My address is at the bottom of this issue, but you don’t have to send mail to me! Write to anyone you want! You can also write to someone you live with if you live with people, like your partner or kid. I am an expert at love letters, btw, and highly recommend them for not only your partner(s) but friends as well.

  1. DANCE: Put on 20 minutes of whatever music you like to dance to and just dance. If you’re working from home, take a dance break. To make it easy for you, I put together a 21-minute birthday dance playlist.

  1. WATCH A MUSICAL: Any musical you want! A few personal favorites are “Chicago,” “Dreamgirls,” and “Into the Woods” (not the one w/ Johnny Depp, though).

  1. TELL SOMEONE YOU APPRECIATE THEM: Could be a friend, a family member, a coworker, a roommate, a partner. I try to let my loved ones know that I appreciate them and I think that showing appreciation for someone is a worthy way to celebrate my birthday.

  1. SING! I fucking love karaoke and I love to sing. There are tons of karaoke videos on YouTube but if you really want to celebrate me, you’ll sing along with this:

  1. PAINT YOUR NAILS GREEN: It’s my favorite color to paint my nails. I don’t care what your gender is. If you have nails, then nail polish is for you (if you want).

  1. SPEAK UP: Okay, I am not into astrology but from the memes I have learned that Aries season means not taking any shit (do I have that right?). During April, draw a boundary when you have a chance. Choose yourself. Say no. Don’t let people slide if they say something shitty. Am I asking you to get in a fight for my birthday? Not necessarily. But if a fight is what happens when you stand up for yourself or for someone else, then they can catch these hands. And by “hands” I mean strongly worded comments.

  1. ORGANIZE SOMETHING: Tackle that sock drawer. Go through your DVD collection get rid of some of those DVDs you will never watch again. If you really want to celebrate and get wild, clean out your spices. I’m talking check expiration dates and Throw. Shit. Out. You bought that nutmeg when Obama was in office. Beyoncé has released at least 5 albums since you bought that onion powder. Open it! It’s hard and won’t even pour. Put it in the trash!

  1. DONATE: Make a donation to Trans Lifeline or Transgender Law Center

  1. LAUGH: Laughter is so important to me. “Laughter is important to a person born on April Fool’s Day, you don’t say???” Yes. I’m not going to get into it here, but I will offer you this 6-minute audio of a John Mulaney bit that never fails to make me laugh until I cry. Unfortunately, there are no subtitles but here is an annotated transcript and here is a kinetic typography video of it.

Whatever you do, please tell me about it! If you post on Twitter or Instagram, tag me @theinfophile. I would love to see how you celebrate. So many people I know and love are having a hard time right now, and if there is a way I can spread joy I’m certainly going to try. If that means using my birthday as an excuse to inspire people to have fun or do something good for themselves, then so be it.

Some of you who are reading this can’t do any of these things. It’s a struggle just to get out of bed, or to shower and put on pants. But I accept these as tribute as well. You showered for the first time that week? Gold fucking star and happy birthday to me! You rock!

Don’t forget to send me your snail mail address if you want a birthday/Spring goodie pack!

As always, if you want to send me some snail mail, you can find me at P.O. Box 21481, Oakland, CA 94620-1481.

If you want to celebrate my birthday by one of the buttons below, you can do that too!

Patricia’s Wishlist

Patricia's Tip Jar