Volume 1, Issue 21: So Many Thoughts, So Little Me

Hi friends! How’s everyone doing? It feels like an entire lifetime worth of news cycles has happened since my last newsletter. It’s Friday the 13th which is often a lucky day for me. Admittedly, the last one was March 13th when everyone went into lockdown but as an introvert and a person who likes to work in leggings as well as being a person who likes to stay alive (mostly), I’ll count that as a semi-win.

I’m going to start with a reminder that I finally got a P.O. Box! If you write to me and give me your address on that piece of mail, I’ll probably write back! (Don’t just email me your address. I’m not a machine.) If you’re my friends/family that already mail me at home, please keep sending mail to my home address. For everyone else, I can be mailed at:

P.O. Box 21481, Oakland, CA 94620-1481

I don’t know about you, but my brain is overflowing. It feels a bit like overwhelm and a lot like I just have too many thoughts in my head. Thoughts beyond my normal obsessive thinking due to my OCD. Many ideas about things to write, bake, do, clean, read and some of them are only partial ideas. Meta-ideas.

And of course, everything going through my head right now about the pandemic and the election and the runoff election in Georgia and and and…

Yesterday this came across my Instagram feed. Reminders for protecting your peace (click through to view them all).

I really needed to see this.

There is one slide in particular that punched me square in the face. It’s the ones that says, “Don’t spend your time creating non-existent scenarios and hurting your own feelings.” Those of us that have OCD or other anxiety disorders can’t avoid doing this 100% of the time but, speaking for myself, I know that I’m not entirely powerless.

To be honest, sometimes I let myself spiral to self-flagellate so that I feel something. Usually that something is “feeling like shit.”

So, I’m working harder on recognizing when I’m purposely making things up that make me feel like shit and telling myself to stop. There is plenty in the world right now to feel like shit about. I don’t also have to think about non-existent confrontations in exquisite detail because of something that I thought about saying.

The pandemic in the U.S. and our U.S. political situation are a trash fire. This we know. Both are long fights and both have casualties of various kinds, from literal mortal casualties to the deaths of relationships between people who want their humanity seen and people who refuse to see it. 

I guess what I’m saying is, that because there is just so much going on and so much to do, we need to go a bit easier on ourselves. Cut ourselves some slack. Give ourselves a fuckin break. I know I sound like a broken record but we cannot pour from an empty cup. There are conversations to have and orgs to support and then also we’re supposed to be prepping for the holidays ha ha fucking ha. But we need to find our peace where we can and protect it. That might mean baking. It might mean stepping away from online interactions. It might be acknowledging that certain relationships have completed their run and need to be set free.

Every day you have multiple opportunities to show yourself compassion and kindness. Start using those opportunities.

That’s it for the meat of today’s newsletter! I do want to show you the new ring I got that says, “Pay Black Women.” I got it from the same site where I bought the mug that says, “Pay Black women for their labor instead of using them for diversity clout.”

Also, as I’ve mentioned, I read a lot of books! I’m going to start linking what I’ve recently finished reading and what I am currently reading, in case you’re interested and don’t follow me on Goodreads.

Finished since last newsletter:

Mooncakes by Suzanne Walker & Wendy Xu

Pet by Akwaeke Emezi

Currently reading:

Deathless Divide by Justina Ireland

What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon

That’s it for this week! If you enjoy this newsletter, feel free to subscribe, share it with a friend, and/or give me a tip!

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