Hi friends. Tomorrow (April 1st) is my birthday and it feels weird to not care this year. I’m just kinda wandering around in a state of shock since my mom died and dissociating like a mofo. Family and friends have been phenomenal at stepping up to help with services as well as sending along DoorDash gift cards and checking in. Nicole and I have been off work the past two weeks and I’ll continue to be off work for at least another week if not two more.
A couple weeks ago I shared an essay in which I recounted a conversation I had with my mother before she passed. My therapist had asked me if there was anything that I needed to hear from my mother in return and I thought about it before saying, “No, actually. I'm good.” My mother was quite good at sharing how she felt. I don’t think she could have hid it if she tried because everything from her joy to her anger could fill a room. But this also meant that she was always forthcoming with praise and with gratitude. She was also really big on showing people how she felt with actions and one of her favorite things to say was, “Actions speak louder than words.”