September 9, 2022

Volume 3, Resources 18: Impossible Tasks, Second-hand Trauma, and Gratitude-Shaming

This is a public issue of Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice. Feel free to share it!

Hi friends! It’s the time of year when I get my serotonin by going to stores and dancing around in the autumn/Halloween sections. Halloween has consistently been my favorite holiday all my life and autumn meant back to school and I fucked LOVED school so I have 40+ years of solid loyalty to this time of year. We actually have Halloween decorations and spooky shit up year-round in our apartment. My wife says, “Creepy wife, creepy life.”

It’s resource week so let’s get to it!

Resource #1: How the ‘Impossible Task’ Affects Anxiety — and What You Can Do About It via Healthline

Back in July I wrote about my too-frequent anxiety spirals into avoidance. Recently a friend shared this article on ‘Impossible Tasks’ that I wanted to share here. It’s another look at what I had written about and it offers a few strategies that you may find helpful.

Resource #2: Beyond the Cliff via TEDx

Before you click to that video I must tell you that it is from a TEDx event put on by a prison. I have been going back and forth about sharing it because fuck prisons; however, the talk is good and incredibly relevant to those of us who either work in nonprofits and/or are in a marginalized group and witness to the onslaught of horrors happening to people like us around the world. I decided to share it and allow you to decide for yourself if you want to give it a click. It is hosted on the TEDx YouTube channel.

The video is about folks who work at nonprofits who are affected by second-hand trauma and act like it is normal to burn yourself out and suffer in silence for their work. For the “mission.” I found a lot of it also translates to how I feel being Black and Asian and queer and witnessing violence against people like me and my loved ones as I scroll through Twitter. That shit will get to you.

Resource #3: Let’s Stop Gratitude-Shaming Each Other by Nedra Glover Tawwab

I was raised in a Catholic household and went to Catholic schools and it was very clear that one of the worst things I could ever be was: Ungrateful. It is something I struggle with frequently when something goes wrong or not the way I hoped. Any time I think of being upset about something or critical of something, the mean little me in my head says, “Don’t be ungrateful. At least you____.” Fill in that blank with whatever. Have a home. Have a job. Like I can’t even want something without feeling like I’m being ungrateful for what I already have and that’s not true. Gratitude and wanting better/other are not mutually exclusive and we can do both at once.

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That’s it for this week! You can shop many books I’ve mentioned in this newsletter at my affiliate shop, The Infophile’s Bookshop, and support independent bookstores. In fact, any Bookshop, Amazon, or Etsy links in this newsletter are affiliate links so if you shop through those, it helps support my work. Or you can leave me a tip on Ko-fi, Paypal, or Venmo.

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