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January 21, 2022

Volume 3, Issue 2: Does It Have to Be You?

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Hi friends! I have been extra-overwhelmed this week and last. It is not necessarily because of bad things, I just have a lot on my plate and I’m still trying to strike a balance between doing things that fill my cup (long walks with my wife) and getting things done that I need to do (read books for the podcast, research things for this newsletter). I know that I could alleviate some stress by, say, listening to an audiobook on our walks but then I wouldn’t be as present as I have been and it’s the being present that has been just as important as getting outside and moving around.

Photo of a salmon-colored rose in full bloom
During one of our walks I took a photo of this single rose in a rose garden where close to nothing else was in bloom. Amidst the empty branches, this one rose was like, “Fuck you, I do what I want.”

Something I think about a lot, and even more the past couple of weeks, is, “This thing needs to be done / I want this thing to be done but do I have to be the one to do it.” There is some stuff that, yes, I need to do. I can’t have someone read books for me, or write this newsletter for me, or walk for me, etc. My therapist challenged me to think about some things I would typically do and think about 1) does the thing actually need to be done or am I just making more homework and busyness for myself, 2) do I actually need to be the one to do the thing, and 3) if not, can I hand it off to my wife or a coworker or another appropriate person depending on the thing.

Nicole had shared this short Twitter thread with me, as we both have student debt and work in the public sector:

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