Volume 3, Issue 17: On Advocating for Ourselves

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Hi friends! I am the type of person who will readily speak up on behalf of others but still struggles with advocating for myself. I know I am not alone and that there are many, many folks who are like me. If a server came to our table (back when we would eat in restaurants) and asked how my food was I would immediately say, “Good!” even if it wasn’t. If a cashier at Trader Joe’s asks if I found everything I needed I would say, “Yep!” even if I didn’t. The lies would come so easily because I was terrified of making someone uncomfortable on my behalf. I was the personification of the phrase, “If not, no worries!”

In 2020 there was a big cultural reckoning, as we know. The time for letting things slide was over. The time for marginalized folks doing unpaid labor and education was over. The time for being passive was over. It was probably in 2020 when I started taking my first big step, which doesn’t seem big but had become big because it was something I’d let slide for 40 years from strangers to coworkers to family members.