Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice Vol 5, Res 2: Resources for Global Heartbreak and How to Apologize
This is a public issue of Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice. Feel free to share it!
Hi friends! This week we released our sixth podcast episode and I’m pretty proud of us. We have exceeded 500 total downloads which is bananas to me. We’re loving making the show and we hope that you’re enjoying listening. I do have a small favor to ask you: Will you please share this newsletter with someone you think would appreciate it? I think there are people out there that can use the free resources I share that have no idea this newsletter exists.
I have gently been getting to some of the things on my 2024 resolutions wishlist. I’m easing my way back into snail mail. I’m sitting down at the [piano] keyboard and doing little lessons and kinda suspicious at how easy it is so far. I’m mostly back to Bean Day Sunday and it really does help the rest of the week go more smoothly. There are things I still haven’t dipped into yet, like learning how to crochet or making more Instagram reels or cleaning our office. We are fewer than 4 weeks into the year and I’m allowing myself to be slow.
Before I get to this week’s resources, I would like to show you the ridiculous thing I got in the mail. Years ago, I slapped an address label and a $5 stamp on a plastic pigeon the size of a football and mailed it to one of my besties. No box, just a plastic pigeon with a label and a stamp on it. Since then, we will occasionally send each other weird shit like that via US Postal Service. The other day, Nicole went outside to get the mail and came back in with this:
Resource 1: Words, tools, & resources for being with heartbreak via North Atlantic Books
There are so many unfathomably terrible things happening in the world and we as humans are ill-equipped for handling the effects of it in our own minds and bodies. I think this is valid and we shouldn’t be equipped for any of this because none of this should be considered normal. The publisher North Atlantic Books has gathered some resources for helping to manage and move through this constant grief and heartbreak toward collective liberation. There are ebooks, excerpts, and additional myriad offerings at this link and they will continue to add words and tools over the coming weeks.
Resource 2: How to Apologize
I’m sharing these resources while recognizing that these types of resources rarely get shared with, seen by, and absorbed by the people who need it most.
I’ll start by sharing this simple illustration on how to apologize by Liz Fosslien. I think this is a good basic outline and one I suggest practicing with children. I sometimes imagine how different I might be if adults had apologized to me as a child, or even if some elders apologized to me now. I think of friends and loved ones who may never get the apologies they deserve from parents or past caretakers.
And I don’t mean “Sorry you feel that way.” That is not actually an apology. See also: “I’m sorry, but…” Nope. Get outta here with that.
Next I’ll share this article, “The art of a heartfelt apology” from Harvard Health Publishing. This one is more detailed with an additional helpful table of recommended language to use if you’re feeling stuck on how to apologize.
Finally, I’ll share this article from NPR, “Do you use these words when you apologize? It's time to stop, researchers say” based on information from the book Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies by Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy. It takes a look at some of the specific words frequently used in apologies and talks about how “I regret that” is not the same as an apology.
Recent & Current Reads
Inclusion of a book in this section is not necessarily a recommendation and these books won’t necessarily be added to my Bookshop.
Recently Read:
Your Salt on My Lips: (Mostly) Queer Literary Erotica by Liz Asch (Bookshop)
Little Rot: A Novel by Akwaeke Emezi (out 6/18) (Bookshop | Libro)
Poemhood: Our Black Revival: History, Folklore & the Black Experience: A Young Adult Poetry Anthology edited by Amber McBride, Erica Martin, & Taylor Byas (out 1/30) (Bookshop | Libro)
A Burst of Light and Other Essays by Audre Lorde (Bookshop | Libro)
Currently Reading:
Out There Screaming: An Anthology of New Black Horror edited by Jordan Peele & John Joseph Adams (Bookshop | Libro) [Yes, I am still working on this]
Inciting Joy: Essays by Ross Gay (Bookshop | Libro) [I’ve seen my Book Riot colleague, Laura Sackton, absolutely rave about this so many times that I had to pick it up]
That’s it for this week! You can shop many books I’ve mentioned in this newsletter at my affiliate shop, The Infophile’s Bookshop, and support independent bookstores. In fact, any Bookshop, Amazon, or Etsy links in this newsletter are affiliate links so if you shop through those, it helps support my work. Or you can leave me a tip on Ko-fi, Paypal, or Venmo.
If you want to send me some snail mail, you can find me at P.O. Box 21481, Oakland, CA 94620-1481.
You can find our podcast, Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice on Apple Podcasts, YouTube, Spotify, and wherever else you get your podcasts.