Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice, Vol 4, Res 14: Understood.org and A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns
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Hi friends! I recorded my first episode of All the Books! of 2023 and I have really, really missed podcasting. I was on hiatus since Mom got sick in December but now I’m back on the show, rambling on about books.
This week we did ourselves a kindness and hired some folks to weed the front yard. It had become overgrown with weeds and we just did not have the spell slots to handle it. I feel more like I can manage better starting from scratch. I have, though, stayed on top of feeding and watering my pink lemon tree and I’m actually getting some blooms! I have no hopes that I will get any lemons for at least another year or two but maybe I get to see some flowers!
It’s resource week so let’s get to it!
Resource #1: Understood.org
If you’ve been here a while, you know I love a good resource of resources. These particular resources are for folks who learn and think differently or for the parents, teachers, friends, etc. of such children and/or adults. Some people use the term “neurodivergent” but this site uses the phrase “learn and think differently.” Could be a person has ADHD or dyslexia or maybe how they learn/think doesn’t have a name.
There seem to be a lot of resources around that focus on children and teens and what I really appreciate about Understood.org is that they also offer many resources for adults who learn and think differently, such as these ways to manage focus challenges at work and these 32 examples of workplace accommodations. Some of the resources are podcast episodes (with transcripts) such as this one on Sex, Intimacy, and ADHD.
All that being said, of course there are a bajillion resources on Understood.org for parents, caregivers, and teachers that do focus on kids.
Resource #2: A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns by Archie Bongiovanni & Tristan Jimerson (Bookshop | Amazon)
This delightful little graphic guide has information for a range of people, starting with information on what pronouns are to some advice for people who use gender-neutral pronouns themselves.
The Oxford English Dictionary traces the singular they back to 1375 and most of us are familiar with already using it. For example, if I’m sitting in a restaurant and a group of people at a table nearby leaves I may look over and say, “Oh, someone left their phone.” This book focuses on using they/them pronouns as singular, especially for a person who is nonbinary.
Archie Bongiovanni uses they/them pronouns and their co-author Tristan uses he/him pronouns. I really like that they’ve co-authored because readers get information from both the perspective of the person who uses the pronouns for themself as well as from a person who uses gendered pronouns and has been learning to use gender-neutral pronouns and implemented their use at his restaurant.
There are a number of gender neutral pronouns that a person can use: ve, zie, per and more. While this book focuses on they/them pronouns, everything in this book can be applied to other gender neutral pronouns as well. If you’re looking for reasons why a person might use gender neutral pronouns, that information is not in this book. Truth is, there are many many reasons and it’s not necessary to know why in order to use them.
Archie talks a little bit about how it feels when people misgender them and use the wrong pronouns, and how impact matters more than intent. There’s advice on how to ask for someone’s pronouns (as well as how not to) and what to do if you get someone’s pronouns wrong.
The book also touches a bit on gender neutral pronouns for groups instead of saying “hey guys” or “hey ladies.” There are so many words you can use instead! The book suggests “hey everyone, hey y'all, and hey folks.” Personally, I like to add that “fools, peasants, and people of Earth” are also all gender neutral.
I really appreciate the section on what to do if you witness someone using the wrong pronouns for a friend because I know I tend to get like a deer in headlights when that happens around me so it helps to practice having something prepared while making sure to talk with your friend first. There’s also a section for folks who are non-binary where Archie gives some advice on coming out and finding support.
That’s it for this week! You can shop any books I’ve mentioned in this newsletter at my affiliate shop, The Infophile’s Bookshop, and support independent bookstores. If you want to send me some snail mail, you can find me at P.O. Box 21481, Oakland, CA 94620-1481. If you are a subscriber and would like for me to send you some happy mail, feel free to give me your address.
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That’s it for this week! You can shop many books I’ve mentioned in this newsletter at my affiliate shop, The Infophile’s Bookshop, and support independent bookstores. In fact, any Bookshop, Amazon, or Etsy links in this newsletter are affiliate links so if you shop through those, it helps support my work. Or you can leave me a tip on Ko-fi, Paypal, or Venmo.
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