Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice, Vol 4, Res 17: Banned Book Club, Small Talk, & Music From Any Time & Place
This is a public issue of Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice. Feel free to share it!
Hi friends! First, very important: It is being made very explicit that the KOSA bill is anti-trans and it is very, very dangerous. Something that I used to teach when I was teaching sex education cohorts of doctors, psychiatrists, nurses, etc. is that if any proposed law says it's "For the safety of the children," then you can be pretty sure that it is, in fact, pretty fucking harmful. For more information, please see this post from Erin in the Morning. Call your senators, no matter what party they are in. It is time to move from ally-that-is-listening-and-learning to ally-that-is-actually-doing-something.
Apparently last week’s issue was #200 and I have my friend J to thank for that because I certainly haven’t been keeping track. Thanks for sticking with me, everyone!
Maybe it’s because my heart is still tender lately but right now (Wednesday evening) the kiddo next door is absolutely bawling and it’s put me on the edge of tears myself. She is maybe 5 years old and she had a friend over for a play date all evening and now it’s 8pm and time for him to go and she simply does not want the fun to end. I remember that feeling so sharply in my heart, of being a child and having the absolute best time of my life and then total heartbreak when someone had to go home or it was way too cold to still be swimming or I was literally falling asleep while playing but too stubborn to admit defeat. I know the neighbor kid will be fine come morning but it’s taking all my willpower to not shout out the window, “Just give them five more minutes!”
Speaking of play dates, though, one of my friends asked me the other day if I like Lego. I actually fucking love Lego. Early when Nicole and I were dating, we would get comparable Lego sets (similar number of pieces, always the 3-in-1). Then we would clear the coffee table, put on Daria, get drunk, then race to see who could put their set together the fastest. Anyway, my friend who asked me about Lego is on the East Coast and they’ve never put Lego together before so the plan is for us to get the exact same simple set and we are going to hop on a Zoom this weekend with our respective snacks and caffeinated drinks and put our Legos together while we sit on Zoom.
Unrelated but also want to share that this weekend Nicole put up the cloud lights I bought for my work/writing/studio space and wow, this shit sparks joy for sure!
It’s resource week so let’s get to it!
Resource #1: The Banned Book Club
As a librarian, as a book professional, as a reader, and mostly, as a queer person of color the book bans have me freaked the fuck out y’all. My Book Riot colleague Kelly Jensen has been doing some phenomenal reporting and news roundups on recent book censorship. If you are in a place where a library has been forced to remove access to certain books, The Banned Book Club is trying to help you get access. From their FAQ:
"The Banned Book Club is an effort to ensure all readers have access to all the books they want to read. To that end, the Banned Book Club is making banned books available to readers in the locations across the United States where titles have been banned. The banned books are available to readers for free from the Palace e-reader app. Digital Public Library of America (DPLA) has partnered with Lyrasis and The Palace Project to provide this service."
Resource #2: Making Space for Small Talk by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Years ago I was at a meetup for sex educators in the L.A. area and there was someone new there and I went to introduce myself, welcome them, etc. I asked them what they do for work and they snapped at me saying, “I think talking about what people do for work is completely uninteresting.” I was so shocked that I didn’t have a response so I stood up and went to chat with friends I knew. It wasn’t until a few years later that I understood why that had shocked me so much. It wasn’t the rudeness, though being rude to the person who was trying to help you feel welcome was certainly a fascinating choice. I realized that I was just maybe weirded out that someone thought I owed them unearned intimacy? Like, was I supposed to say “Hi! I’m The Infophile and here’s my trauma-lama-ding-dong for you to peruse!” If someone actually does that it is a bright red flag and I am saying this also having experienced countless numbers of people who do this in my own queer community.
Some people hate small talk and I get that; however, small talk is how you cross that bridge to deeper connections. Nedra Tawwab has a post on how to make small talk less painful so you can strengthen the relationships you want to grow.
Bonus resource for funsies: Radiooooo
You know I love an interesting music web app so here’s Radiooooo. You’re shown a world map and can pick a country and then along the bottom you can choose a decade and this is how I learned this week that The Cardigans are a Swedish band (I chose Sweden in the 1990’s). I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone knew this except me but hey, I certainly learned something new!
That’s it for this week! You can shop any books I’ve mentioned in this newsletter at my affiliate shop, The Infophile’s Bookshop, and support independent bookstores. If you want to send me some snail mail, you can find me at P.O. Box 21481, Oakland, CA 94620-1481. If you are a subscriber and would like for me to send you some happy mail, feel free to give me your address.
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That’s it for this week! You can shop many books I’ve mentioned in this newsletter at my affiliate shop, The Infophile’s Bookshop, and support independent bookstores. In fact, any Bookshop, Amazon, or Etsy links in this newsletter are affiliate links so if you shop through those, it helps support my work. Or you can leave me a tip on Ko-fi, Paypal, or Venmo.
If you want to send me some snail mail, you can find me at P.O. Box 21481, Oakland, CA 94620-1481.
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