Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice, Vol 4, Iss 24: What I've Learned in 2023
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Hi friends! This past weekend was Nicole’s birthday. We had an amazing white truffle dinner at Donato Enoteca before going to see the lights and holiday décor at the Filoli Historic Estate and Gardens, which is where the photo of us below was taken. We went for our favorite Japanese curry the next day and ate while watching the ocean surge, then over to buy ourselves some nice pens.
Initially I had titled today’s issue, “Reflections on 2023” but then I realized, I totally don’t want to reflect on much of what happened in 2023 because I’m just trying to get through the end of the year here. I do, however, have the spell slots to write a bit about some of the things I’ve learned this year. Here they are in no particular order:
Going outside does wonders for my mental health. It feels like a lesson I need to relearn every few weeks.
Dutch ovens are one of the most amazing things. They make cooking beans and risotto faster and more enjoyable.
I’ve learned how to let people help, because at the beginning of this year, we had no choice. People will show up, if we let them. I’m still learning that I am deserving of help, and that is going to take a while, but I have learned that needing help does not mean I am a burden. Which is wild, because I never think of my loved ones as burdens when they need help.
I learned how much I miss live theatre. We went to a couple shows that required masks for the audiences and my heart was so, so full.
I’ve learned how to put things out in the world when they’re good enough and not wait until they are perfect.
I learned that I cannot save everyone, nor is it my job to.
I’ve learned some of my boundaries around being paid for my work. I used to have a “pay what you want” structure for this newsletter. After a second person signed up for one cent, yes, one single cent for dozens of hours of my work each month, I had to draw a boundary. For the record, the person is a person I know who, if they can't afford more than one cent a month (they can) they could have asked for a comp.
I learned that I may not always feel like I have something remarkable to talk about at therapy but it has been incredibly helpful to have an established relationship with a therapist for when something big does happen.
I learned that I absolutely love being a mentor.
I also learned that I can't force people to accept my help, even if it’s something I’m really good at.
I learned that I can podcast with my wife and I can podcast about things other than books (even though I almost always mention a book or two on our show).
Here is to more learning in 2024, and hopefully not learning things the hard way!
Next week’s newsletter will be about some of my hopes and wishes and goal ideas for 2024, a little on how I think about goal-setting, and a couple of the questions I ask folks when I help them set their own goals.
That’s it for this week! You can shop many books I’ve mentioned in this newsletter at my affiliate shop, The Infophile’s Bookshop, and support independent bookstores. In fact, any Bookshop, Amazon, or Etsy links in this newsletter are affiliate links so if you shop through those, it helps support my work. Or you can leave me a tip on Ko-fi, Paypal, or Venmo.
If you want to send me some snail mail, you can find me at P.O. Box 21481, Oakland, CA 94620-1481.
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