EEDA Newsletter Vol 6, Iss 2: Focusing on What I Can Control
This is a public issue of Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice. Feel free to share it!
Hi friends. Unclench your jaw. Take a full, deliberate breath. I’m writing this on Wednesday 1.22.25 evening (Pacific) and things are changing quickly so my apologies if it is already outdated by the time you read it.
As we mentioned on our Patreon on Monday evening (Pacific time), it’s really easy to panic right now and I am certainly not going to be out here telling you not to panic. Personally, I had my first panic attack on Tuesday night at about 10pm. There is a lot to panic about and it’s really surreal to be out running errands or in meetings at my day job and everything is business as usual. “Why aren’t we all panicking?” I want to yell. “Why are you not all furious as I am?” And maybe they are! I don’t know! But it’s weird that people aren’t acting like it and it’s unnerving as hell.
There is a lot that is not within my control right now so I am doing my best to focus on what is within my power. You may find it helpful to do this same. Here are some of the things I’m doing:
I’m recognizing that Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram are the least “safe” places on the internet and I’m working on treating them accordingly. I’m trying to focus my content in places where I have more control, like this newsletter, our podcast, and our Patreon. Places where I can also implement a paywall or deny access if necessary.
I’m also on Bluesky, which is none of the above platforms and not yet taken over (that I know of). There are some incredibly helpful posts I’m sharing on there, like this one.
I am also finding content creators I appreciate on these platforms. I just subscribed to YK Hong’s Patreon and I’m a longtime subscriber to Violet Blue’s Patreon. I sign up for newsletters and I pay for ones that aren’t on Substack. I refuse to willingly give more money to the N*zi machine that is that site. Speaking of which, I’d love to hear about where you get your streaming music, podcasts (non-Apple) and playlists other than Spotify.
I’m cultivating community offline and online. As much as people want you to “get offline,” doing that can leave some of our community members behind, such as disabled folks and parents of small children who may not be able to just pop out to physical spaces all the time (especially if people aren’t wearing masks).
I’m moving as much of my messaging as I can out of text and onto Signal for more security. I should have done this a long time ago but it is not too late.
I am reaching out to my friends and loved ones and checking in. I’m not just passively posting online about how terrible everything is, I’m reaching out to people I know. This is community-building 101. Connect with people. Sometimes it might just be “I don’t know what to say but this is fucked and I love you.”
I am continuing to feed myself, hydrate, minimize screen time before bed, [try to] get a decent amount of sleep, move my body, and get some sunlight each day. I continue to take my meds and go to therapy. I already feel like shit, I don’t have to make things harder.
I am staying informed and educated but stepping back occasionally for my mental health. I am not dissociating, I am not “ostrich-ing,” I am not ignoring. But I am being mindful.
I may scream, cry, throw up, etc., but I will keep going and so will you.
People in power can say all they want, this doesn’t mean any of us cease to exist nor does it mean that we aren’t deserving of rights, love, and joy. I’m here. You’re here. We will continue to reassure each other we are here.
I will hang out with loved ones. I will message them if they aren’t nearby. We will tell each other we love each other often.
I will remember what we learned the first go-round in 2016. Many things will be said and it is easy to burn myself out with outrage over every utterance. I’m not doing that this time.
I will continue to write and share resources. I will continue to leverage my strengths to contribute to the fight in ways that are seen and also in ways that aren’t broadcasted.
I will continue to laugh. I will continue to crack jokes and have fun and find joy. Because joy is the whole fuckin’ point. Pleasure is the point.
Please be gentle with yourself and each other.
On this week's EEDA Pod episode, “Embracing the Flaws of Imperfect Actions” Patricia and Nicole discuss the recent (and ongoing) Southern California wildfires and emphasize the importance of community-driven support in times of crisis. They also talk about the significance of taking small, sometimes imperfect actions to contribute positively to societal issues. The episode concludes with encouragement to the listeners to practice self-care and support the show through Patreon and other platforms.
You can find our show, Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice on Apple Podcasts, YouTube, Spotify, and wherever else you get your podcasts. You can also support the show on Patreon, where we have some perks for paid subscribers with even more coming this year.
New Project: Optimistic Hoarder
My mother was aggressively happy and extremely sad. She bought, collected, scavenged, and hoarded when she was joyful and when she was depressed. She passed suddenly in March 2023, leaving a lifetime of belongings in multiple caches.
This newsletter is my attempt to make sense of things as I, her only child, sort through them one box at a time.
Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice is not the right place for these essays so you can find & subscribe to Optimistic Hoarder here: https://buttondown.com/optimistic-hoarder. I do not know how frequently I will write nor do I know if I will ever paywall it (currently, sign-ups are free).
Recent & Current Reads
Inclusion of a book in this section is not necessarily a recommendation and these books won’t necessarily be added to my Bookshop. Links are affiliate links.
Recently Read:
What Fresh Hell Is This?: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You by Heather Corinna
Syme's Letter Writer: A Guide to Modern Correspondence about (Almost) Every Imaginable Subject of Daily Life, with Odes to Desktop Ephemera by Rachel Syme (out 1/28)
Currently Reading:
We Need Your Art: Stop Messing Around and Make Something by Amie McNee (out 3/11)
Poetry as Spellcasting: Poems, Essays, and Prompts for Manifesting Liberation and Reclaiming Power by Tamiko Beyer, Destiny Hemphill, & Lisbeth White
Sleep Groove: Why Your Body's Clock Is So Messed Up and What to Do about It by Olivia Walch (out 1/28)
Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds by Adrienne Maree Brown
That’s it for this week! You can shop many books I’ve mentioned in this newsletter at my affiliate shop, The Infophile’s Bookshop, and support independent bookstores. In fact, any Bookshop, Amazon, or Etsy links in this newsletter are affiliate links so if you shop through those, it helps support my work. Or you can leave me a tip on Ko-fi, Paypal, or Venmo.
If you want to send me some snail mail, you can find me at P.O. Box 21481, Oakland, CA 94620-1481.
You can find our podcast, Enthusiastic Encouragement & Dubious Advice on Apple Podcasts, YouTube, Spotify, and wherever else you get your podcasts.