EEDA Newsletter Vol 5, Iss 12: The Generational Avoidance Cycle
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Hi friends! First, a big thanks to those who donated and got us past the goal for the TGIJP Black Trans Cultural Center fundraiser. I appreciate each and every one of you. Happy Pride!
This past weekend we went to the San Leandro Cherry Festival and had a mediocre corn dog, ate some amazing ice cream from Koolfi Creamery, bought some silly earrings like these, and most importantly: got San Leandro Public Library cards! Getting San Leandro cards has been on our list for months but we have just never made it down to the library to get them. There were a bunch of civic booths at the festival and one of the booths was the library. They had tablets to sign you up and cards right there ready to go. Totally worth it!
It is so hot I can hardly think so let’s get to today’s essay.
Recently someone on my social media feed said something that really stuck with me. They had something on their skin that they got checked out. It was cancerous, it’s been removed, and now they’re good. They wrote something to the effect of “Information is scary but being scared of information is so much worse.” Within 48 hours of seeing that, I saw something else online that said, “For many of us, our generational curse is avoidance.”
I’ve been reeling for days since seeing those posts because they resonate so deeply. Many of us have a long history of avoidance in our circles. My mother loved to say, “Don’t worry, be happy” and “Don’t sweat the small stuff” but sometimes that was just a way to avoid dealing with anything difficult, even if the things were necessary. I learned from some folks that if I encountered something painful or hard I could simply “ignore” it. I don’t even know where to begin with all of the apologies that are lacking from people who just want to show up and act like they’ve done nothing hurtful.
Sound familiar? This is neither healthy, mature, nor sustainable (though yes, I realize in some cases it is linked to things like adhd and anxiety. I am not talking about that).
I think that it is too much to ask of any one person to try to break all the upsetting cycles they may be caught in and to heal all the generational trauma but for me, I am trying to make more of an effort with avoidance. I also have a tendency to bury my head in the ground because I am scared of certain information, which is ironic given I am all over the internet as The Infophile.
To that point, when my mother was diagnosed with cancer last year we learned that there was a possible genetic component that I should be tested for. I’d like to say I have ignored this for seventeen months but I haven’t ignored it, it’s been on my mind every single day, absolutely terrifying me. As a person with obsessive-compulsive disorder, I have a brain that terrorizes me on the daily and I am going to stop adding to it. Truly, it came down to my integrity and my sense of identity as a person who loves information and I cannot in good faith continue to be bullied by information.
With Nicole’s help, I have gotten the ball rolling. I cannot break every cycle, but I’ll work on this one and see where I can get.
That’s it for this week! You can shop many books I’ve mentioned in this newsletter at my affiliate shop, The Infophile’s Bookshop, and support independent bookstores. In fact, any Bookshop, Amazon, or Etsy links in this newsletter are affiliate links so if you shop through those, it helps support my work. Or you can leave me a tip on Ko-fi, Paypal, or Venmo.
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